July 6, 2017

Let me just go ahead and bow down to my stay at home mommas who rock this whole momma gig because it is not for the faint of heart. I have learned so much about our sweet girl and so much about myself as a mother. There have definitely been tears shed and days of wondering if I am screwing our sweet girl up but those sweet smiles and moments of snuggling....melt my heart. I am so thankful that I have this time with her as I know most people aren't afforded that chance with their sweet babies. I promise I am cherishing the moments, the smiles, and the snuggles. As quick as June went, it seems like July is going to go even faster. These are my focus points for this month. 


I truly think this is where I am falling short day to day and I'm not afraid to admit that. My focus, during the day and in the evening is Adi. By the time I get her settled in bed, this momma is tired so I usually go straight to bed. M and I stayed up late the other night just talking and it made me realize how much I miss him. That's just not ok.


This little ham has her momma wrapped around her finger already. This is my ladt month with her before I head back to work so I want to make the most of it. Introduce her to new foods, take her to see family, go explore, and just enjoy this precious time with her that I know I'll never get back. 


I'm definitely a work in progress because finding the balance is hard. I've got so many areas that I feel like need my attention that taking care of me definitely gets pushed to the back burner. I want to give up some of my control and learn that my way isn't always the right way and that other people can help out to give me a little break. I'm going to happily work on this during July. 


M and I have spent many nights these past few weeks talking about some goals we have for our little family down the road. We know that there are things we want to be able to do for Adi and any little siblings she has down the road and in order to do those things, we have to change how we are living now. So we are working on cutting back our spending, paying off car debt, and saving through a system to ensure we are setting ourselves up for success later down the road. Hey, if being able to pay for our children's college (if that's what they wish to do with their life) means less spending now on clothes, shoes, and other items I don't "need" then so be it. 


I saw a meme on facebook the other day that is me to a T. It basically said "I'm the friend who wants to be invited even though I probably won't come". At least I'm aware that I'm not the best friend out there right? Doesn't make it any better. I want to work on friendships this month. Particularly my side of them. Showing up when I've said I would, calling/texting just because and not just when I need something, and just taking better care of the precious friendships I have. 


Adi has decided that in order to nap, she must be in momma's arms. I don't hate that at all but refreshing my social media apps every 3 minutes got old. Thankfully I had downloaded book seven of the Outlander series and have gotten wrapped up in the lives of Jamie and Claire all over again. It really is an amazing series. I like getting lost in their world as I hold mine.